#1

Mental health is something I've been really open about over the last couple of years because I want to not only break stigma, but also help those around me who are also struggling. For mental health awareness week I want to share some of my personal journey so that I can maybe provide some hope for others struggling, or clarity and understanding for those who are not so familiar with mental illness. For me, the support I received from those around me was a key factor in my recovery. Three years ago I was suffering but didn't know what was going. on. I didn't really understand mental illness which made it all even harder to grasp. However I had people who sat by me, listened to me for hours on end and never have up on me. They believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself. After my diagnosis at the end of 2015 I began experiencing loneliness as some close to me didn't understand what I was going through. At this time I focused solely on the fact I needed to be well enough to go to Isle of Iona (Scotland) to volunteer. I told myself I could back to bad coping mechanisms when I came home at the end of the year. Those close to me know how important Iona is to me, how much my time there helped me. I left New Zealand a broken mess, not knowing how to cope properly with my mental illness. I had people tell me that I wouldn't cope overseas but something inside me wanted to prove them wrong. Words can't really describe my time on Iona, as those who have been know, it's something you have to experience yourself - you can't really explain it in words. Isle of Iona was like a completely different world, one I had never experienced before. It was the people who helped me the most. These people understood mental illness, encouraged self care and showed unconditional support and love, something I had not experienced before. Everyone I met there helped me in some way. Whether that was from sitting with me as I ate my meals, hugging me when I had a panic attack, or fully understanding when I didn't feel I could attend a social event. It was here that I realised people cared. I would list the names of all those people but frankly there are so many! (...) I left the island three months later a different person to the one who had arrived. This was a pivotal turning point for me in my recovery, one I will forever be grateful for. Coming back to New Zealand was hard, especially as I lost more people close to me, but those who stuck by me helped save me from my dark suicidal thoughts and self harm tendencies. (...) The point I'm trying to make here is that support is pivotal in mental illness recovery, whether that be from those you trust or professionals. Reach out to those around you - it can be a literal lifesaver. I am now in the best place mentally I have been in for years. I am now having therapy monthly instead of weekly, I have graduated and am going back to do my Masters next year, I am travelling overseas again by myself at the end of this year and most importantly, my relationship with God is in a good place and I believe in myself. I was hesitant to post this because I didn't want people to think I'm trying to draw attention to myself. I am actually trying to draw attention to the importance of mental health and how important support is. Sorry for the ramble, but I hope that those struggling will have the courage to speak out for help. To those who have stuck by me, unconditionally over the past few years, whether you understood what I was going through or not, I will be forever grateful for you. So let's break this stigma and help those around us who are struggling.